Amanda blogs about a Dr. Helen post, the essence of which you’ve all heard before, i.e. men aren’t getting married because evil, gold-digging women only give it up for rich guys, then divorce them and take all their money.
(One wonders why Dr. Helen’s famous husband hasn’t figure out that he has, in the words of one of her fan-commenters, put his head in a noose and is essentially trusting in Dr. Helen’s goodwill that she won’t divorce him and strip him of every penny he has. But I digress.)
It is indeed amusing to hear libertarian types whine about women who only want money. Isn’t that good, capitalist behavior? If a woman is attractive, shouldn’t she hew to the advice that it’s as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man? And certainly you’d think that the whiners would quickly figure out that they would be more successful with less-sought-after women.
If we were talking about some kind of transaction where the whiners’ egos <I>weren’t</I> at stake, they’d laugh at somebody who went without rather than stuck to their price range. “No, the Jaguar dealer is not obligated to sell you a car just because you want one. The market allows them to charge more for a Jag. If you can’t afford one, STFU and go buy a Honda.”
But when they are talking about their sex lives–and make no mistake, the whiners think of women as not much more than clamshell containers for sex and housework–suddenly market theory and what-you-can-afford-is-what-you-deserve goes out the window. Because, as Amanda points out, suddenly when it comes to getting laid, they’re all Communists.
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It started with Craiglist rant…and just got stupider. I don’t know what to say anymore.
It’s a variant of the age old “good guys finish last” motif, which has been hijacked by people who can’t always get what they want. Hey, I’m an average guy who lusts after supermodels but they don’t want me. It must be because nice guys finish last. It’s not my fault1 No, clod, nice guys don’t go after women out of their league with the selfish expectation of success combined with the whiny self centered blame of the cruel world if/when they do not succeed. Nice guys deal with reality. Go for the Gold, but deal with failure as well as with success.
When Billy Joel managed to appear plain and average and bag Christy Brinkley.. somehow this makes it all HIS fault. I blame Billy Joel.
I agree, as far as it goes. All sex and relationships really are transactions, and I agree that guys–nice or otherwise–shouldn’t look at it any other way. Personally, I long ago figured out that sooner or later, in one coin or another, all men pay for sex (and as an aside, the “cash up front” option is often much less expensive in the long run and the larger sense). And if you’re not rich, well, you go after what is in your price range. Most of us can’t afford filet mignon every day for every meal, sometimes you’ve got to settle for that Big Mac.
But it’s worth remembering that the bartering positions change over time. A wealthy man will probably only get wealthier as he gets older as long as he adheres to a few basic principles of personal finance and avoids any major problems (castastrophic illness, theft of assets, marriage and divorce, etc, etc). A hot woman, however, probably only has 15 years of hotness in her at the very most, depending on her genes, how stringently she diets and exercises and how much surgery she can afford and is willing to tolerate. If this hot woman also wants children she would be well advised to remember that her fertility has about the same shelf life.
So yeah, you’re not entitled to anything, the market sets prices, buyer beware, all true. But if a woman is trying to sell herself on her looks alone she needs to remember it’s a short ride. And a man who is interested in looks alone needs to remember he’s buying a very perishable commodity.
Chief, you are starting with the assumption that women don’t much want sex and men don’t much want more than sex. For women and men who do fit that mindset, your advice is certainly good.
But, as you’ve no doubt heard me grumble on more than one occasion, I got into a mess of difficulty as a hot young thing going on the assumption that men just want sex.
“one coin or another”
I wonder if I can use this notion…
…find a talented engraver…and create some coins with the likenesses of the spawn on one side, and the word “posterity” on the other…
‘Twould make for some fun, next anniversary.
Chief is also assuming that men only want sex with hhhotttt 20-somethings. Which says more about Chief’s mindset than anything else.
“if a woman is trying to sell herself on looks alone…”
“a man who is interested in looks alone…”
Narya, I know that many people will read into any post on any controversial subject whatever they want. But can you point out exactly where I said the words, “every,” “each,” or “always” in those sentences?
First: “All sex and relationships really are transactions, and I agree that guys–nice or otherwise–shouldn’t look at it any other way.” True, you said “all” and “shouldn’t look at it any other way” rather than “every” or “each,” but it sure seems the same to me, meaning-wise.
Second: “Personally, I long ago figured out that sooner or later, in one coin or another, all men pay for sex (and as an aside, the “cash up front” option is often much less expensive in the long run and the larger sense).”
Again, according to you, “all” men pay for sex. That’s not, in fact, a view of sex that all men or all women have. You can argue that we’re stupid or misguided, I suppose, but that doesn’t make you right.
And this proves that I’m assuming men only want sex with hot 20 somethings how?
I’m glad I’m poor, chubby, and have a the fashion sense of a street bum. I know my fiance really loves me for me because, shit, there’s not much else to like!
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