Why I moved out of Michigan:
I am currently in southeastern Wisconsin which, as you may have heard on the Weather Channel, is experiencing “severe weather conditions”. At the moment, I am waiting for the local AAA service to winch my car out of the parking lot, which at the moment consists of about 1/2″ of solid ice covered with huge drifts of slick, powdery snow. Estimates of the final level of snowfall range from 9″ to 17″, depending on who you ask.
No parents were harmed in the making of the slumber party. Nobody broke anything, or cried, or abused the cat. (Total injuries: One nonbleeding scrape, which was fixed with a Pirates of the Caribbean type band-aid.)
Note to self for the future: teenagers eat a lot of food. There is no such thing as “I’m a little concerned that we’re going to have leftovers.”
Needing a stiff drink: The Queen turns 13.
Needing an entire fucking tanker trunk of stiff drinks: To celebrate, she is having a sleepover with six of her closest friends. At our house.
I already tried telling Samwise that I really do have a lot of work to get done at the office, but he whimpered and wouldn’t let go of my ankle, so I’m stuck here.
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