Yes, penis size does make a difference. Bigger cocks are better. Explanation, then qualifiers:

The vagina* is a ‘potential space’. Despite all those What You Need To Know About Sex-type line drawings, it’s not a big gaping tube. As Coolnurse puts it better than I do:

Keep in mind that the vagina is a ‘potential’ space. The walls of the vagina are normally in contact with each other. In other words, they are touching unless something is inserted between them; contrary to what most anatomy illustrations like the one here illustrates. This drawing looks like the vagina is an ‘open’ canal. It is not. The vaginal opening is normally closed. It’s important to realize that the vagina isn’t a hole or cavity inside the body. When something enters the vagina, the body must make room for it, no matter how small or large it may be.

So during sex, it’s not just about friction, but pressure. Obviously a wide penis makes for more pressure. This is a good thing as long as there isn’t too much pressure, such as being hung enough to involve bruising or tearing. Also, most women don’t particularly like cervical trauma; length is not a plus, width is.

The disclaimers: Most obviously, your mileage may vary. Some women, like some gay men, are ‘size queens.’ Unfortunately, it’s just not all that accepted for women to voice this preference, as it’s generally taken as a commentary on the looseness of her morals, her vaginal muscle tone, or both. Some people like big cocks for the visual effect. Some don’t like penetration much and therefore it’s a moot point.

For most women, I’d call it an occasional preference: big is better, but not all the time. Sometimes being filled up is ohmygod wonderful. Sometimes you just don’t want that, any more than you would always want an all-you-can-eat buffet meal for dinner. And, of course, it’s not like average is bad. Potential space, remember? We’re clearly evolved for an average penis to be just fine, thankyewverymuch.

The last disclaimer, also a girl secret, is that it’s just not all that fun to perform oral sex on a big cock. Okay, yes, there are some people who have like a thing for it. But mostly, oy. It kind of kills the mood when your jaw is aching like hell and you have to get sloppy because you just want it to be over already. How many blowjobs are there going to be if the woman’s reaction is “Let me pop a couple of Advil first”?

Luckily, we live in an age of affordable dildos and widely-known fisting techniques. My prize for Most Confident Man Ever goes to the boyfriend of an acquaintance–said acquaintance, during sex, apologetically said that she really needed a bigger penis to get off, and she’d be happy to get him off, but she needed him to fist her. He did.

*Pet peeve time, people: the vagina is the inner part, the birth canal. The whole package, including the outside part, is the vulva. Anyone who refers to a woman’s genitalia as the “vagina” deserves to be thumped. Yes, including and perhaps especially Eve Ensler.

As always when I play Answer Bitch, I will be happy to give you the complete truth that you didn’t want to hear, and are now mad at me for sharing instead of making up fluffy white lies.

You are as sexist as any Modern Neanderthal Man. Yes, you are. Oh, sure, you fervently believe that women ought to get paid as much as men and have the same job opportunities, and you’d kill anyone who suggests that you find computers baffling just because you’re a girl.

But most women…oh, well, they’re petty and they backstab and they giggle and think about their nail polish. That’s just how women are. MNM says the same thing, by the way: if you point out to him that you’re smart and can do math, he’ll agree that sure, you are special, but that’s just you, not most women. Which leads us into the second problem:

You like being special. You get an ego boost out of being the only girl around all the cool guys. You’re the woman chosen as funny, smart, elite, geeky, non-frivolous, whatever. Maybe they call you an “honorary guy”. If just any woman could be admired as an equal, where would you be?

You don’t call your guy friends on their shit. Part of being sexist is buying into the idea that male > female, and that annoying guy behavior is forgiveable while annoying girl behavior is deadly. Girl talks about eyeshadow? Off the guest list. Guy talks about football? Rolling of eyes, maybe, but he’s still your buddy. And of course, we must judge all women by the actions of a few:

I’ve been manipulated, sabotaged, and backstabbed by women in the past. The closest woman in my life, my mother, is a mental basketcase and the queen of guilt and manipulation.

If a man said this as a reason why he shuns female friends, you’d tear him a new one. If a woman said that she couldn’t stand men because they were obnoxious, sexist, paternalistic and she was sick of having her ass grabbed, you’d be sympathetic, but you’d also be thinking she was overgeneralizing and being unfair to the good guys. Yet this is an acceptable rationale for cutting women out of your life–some of them are bitches!

I actually just have a hard time relating to women and I recently realized that I actually treat some of them with suspicion, as the only chick in my office who’s close to my age just came over to chat for 2 minutes and I found myself continually questioning why she was here and what she was trying to find out by talking to me.

Has this woman done anything weird or offputting? Well, yes. She actually, if you can believe it, came over to chat. That’s, like, as if she was trying to make friends or something!

And believe me: the kind of woman you claim you want to be friends with, the smart one who isn’t petty and backstabbing, who is cool and friendly and won’t forget you exist when she gets a boyfriend? That “I’m the Queen of the Guys, get away from me, suspicious female!” might as well be painted on your furrowed brow.

Simple way to make female friends: stop the sexist attitude where you see men as human beings first, and women as females first. Don’t value the applause of your guy friends as the highest measure of your having overcome your unfortunate female genetic tendency towards pink things and giggling. Assume that women, like men, are capable of being assholes; they’re also capable of being pretty damn cool people.

If you really want to, that is. Perhaps you don’t.