Odd thing #1 is that this is in a run-down neighborhood in Orange County, and not a heavily Jewish neighborhood, either. Who the heck is shopping at this place? Maybe, I think, it does mostly mail-order and web order.

Odd thing #2, when I get inside, is that the counter clerk and the only other customer are conversing in Spanish.  Okay, not that unusual in this heavily Hispanic neighborhood that there would be Hispanic employees.
Then I notice odd thing #3, which is that all of the books, tapes and other parapheralia with a written component are written in Spanish.  Is there a Spanish-speaking Jewish community in Orange County? Maybe these are like the famous crypto-Jews of the American Southwest?

Odd thing #3(A) is that on closer inspection, the books all seem to be about “Yashua”.

There are mezuzah cases in the display part of the counter, and I wave the two women on to go ahead and keep talking, I’m just looking. Still in Spanish, the counter clerk is explaining something to the other customer about how you can “question, ask, and learn”. She repeats this a couple of times, as if it’s some kind of catch phrase.

“This is Yashua?” the customer asks, then, skeptically: “But it’s not Christ.”

“No. No,” say the counter clerk.

Increasingly creeped-out, I ask if there are any scrolls for the mezuzahs. The clerk looks at me blankly. “Paper, to go inside,” I repeat. She understands, and explains that they don’t sell the paper, just the case. This is odd thing #4, as the scroll is the important part. Technically, the scroll is the mezuzah; the pretty outside case is just that, a case.

The other customer points to the mezuzahs and asks (still in Spanish) what those are for. “For protection,” the clerk tells her.

I made polite noises and left. Jews for Jesus is weird enough, but this was a whole new level.

Why do otherwise self-respecting agnostics and atheists buy trees and tinsel?

The Christmas story is a beautiful myth, and it’s a myth about humanity. Easter is about the dying and rising god; important, but not as mysterious, and it’s one of those myths that is about the doings of gods, not about humans. It’s probably the same reason that Jews celebrate the Exodus more than we celebrate the giving of the Commandments. The end of the story-cycle is interesting but not all that emotional.

The story of Christmas is very human. In terrible times, in the humblest of places, there is new life, and a sign that there is love, and hope. That’s why there is no “spirit of the Easter season”. That’s why Christmas is celebrated near the longest and darkest time of the year.  No matter how dark and cold and ugly the world may seem, look: there is a star, and light in the world; and hope for the good that is in humanity.

To all of you who believe, I wish you a Merry Christmas.

The take-away message: Even evolution-denying, Talmud-ignorant, metaphor-tone-deaf, pretzel-headed Christian literalists are forced to acknowledge and honor the utter coolness of dinosaurs.

This is an excellent time to send a Rabbi-Gram.

Charoset (חֲרֽוֹסֶת)

• 12 oz. pitted whole dates (Medjool are good)
• 1 cup raisins (you can use half dark and half golden)
• 2 small Granny Smith apples, peeled and chopped
• 1 cup raw pecans
• 1 teaspoon ginger
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1 tablespoon orange juice

Put everything in the food processor. The dates will stick to the blade, so don’t put them at the bottom. Chop in pulses, stirring in between so that it more or less gets cut up equally, until is is the consistency you want. If you blend it too long it will be a paste rather than a chutney, but some people like that. Serve with matzoh or other bland crackers. Cover and refrigerate the leftovers.

If you don’t have a food processor, I’m afraid you are just going to have to cut everything up into small pieces and mix it together in a bowl. Rinse the knife blade with water frequently so the dried fruit sticks to it less. You’ll have the food processor next year.

Also, there will be lamb.