(One wonders why Dr. Helen’s famous husband hasn’t figure out that he has, in the words of one of her fan-commenters, put his head in a noose and is essentially trusting in Dr. Helen’s goodwill that she won’t divorce him and strip him of every penny he has. But I digress.)

It is indeed amusing to hear libertarian types whine about women who only want money. Isn’t that good, capitalist behavior? If a woman is attractive, shouldn’t she hew to the advice that it’s as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man? And certainly you’d think that the whiners would quickly figure out that they would be more successful with less-sought-after women.

If we were talking about some kind of transaction where the whiners’ egos <I>weren’t</I> at stake, they’d laugh at somebody who went without rather than stuck to their price range. “No, the Jaguar dealer is not obligated to sell you a car just because you want one. The market allows them to charge more for a Jag. If you can’t afford one, STFU and go buy a Honda.”

But when they are talking about their sex lives–and make no mistake, the whiners think of women as not much more than clamshell containers for sex and housework–suddenly market theory and what-you-can-afford-is-what-you-deserve goes out the window.  Because, as Amanda points out, suddenly when it comes to getting laid, they’re all Communists.

Yes, penis size does make a difference. Bigger cocks are better. Explanation, then qualifiers:

The vagina* is a ‘potential space’. Despite all those What You Need To Know About Sex-type line drawings, it’s not a big gaping tube. As Coolnurse puts it better than I do:

Keep in mind that the vagina is a ‘potential’ space. The walls of the vagina are normally in contact with each other. In other words, they are touching unless something is inserted between them; contrary to what most anatomy illustrations like the one here illustrates. This drawing looks like the vagina is an ‘open’ canal. It is not. The vaginal opening is normally closed. It’s important to realize that the vagina isn’t a hole or cavity inside the body. When something enters the vagina, the body must make room for it, no matter how small or large it may be.

So during sex, it’s not just about friction, but pressure. Obviously a wide penis makes for more pressure. This is a good thing as long as there isn’t too much pressure, such as being hung enough to involve bruising or tearing. Also, most women don’t particularly like cervical trauma; length is not a plus, width is.

The disclaimers: Most obviously, your mileage may vary. Some women, like some gay men, are ‘size queens.’ Unfortunately, it’s just not all that accepted for women to voice this preference, as it’s generally taken as a commentary on the looseness of her morals, her vaginal muscle tone, or both. Some people like big cocks for the visual effect. Some don’t like penetration much and therefore it’s a moot point.

For most women, I’d call it an occasional preference: big is better, but not all the time. Sometimes being filled up is ohmygod wonderful. Sometimes you just don’t want that, any more than you would always want an all-you-can-eat buffet meal for dinner. And, of course, it’s not like average is bad. Potential space, remember? We’re clearly evolved for an average penis to be just fine, thankyewverymuch.

The last disclaimer, also a girl secret, is that it’s just not all that fun to perform oral sex on a big cock. Okay, yes, there are some people who have like a thing for it. But mostly, oy. It kind of kills the mood when your jaw is aching like hell and you have to get sloppy because you just want it to be over already. How many blowjobs are there going to be if the woman’s reaction is “Let me pop a couple of Advil first”?

Luckily, we live in an age of affordable dildos and widely-known fisting techniques. My prize for Most Confident Man Ever goes to the boyfriend of an acquaintance–said acquaintance, during sex, apologetically said that she really needed a bigger penis to get off, and she’d be happy to get him off, but she needed him to fist her. He did.

*Pet peeve time, people: the vagina is the inner part, the birth canal. The whole package, including the outside part, is the vulva. Anyone who refers to a woman’s genitalia as the “vagina” deserves to be thumped. Yes, including and perhaps especially Eve Ensler.