• Make a 3-2-1 pie crust: three parts flour, two parts fat, one part water (by weight). Fat should be butter, but if you’re one of those people who freaks out at working with butter, use a little Crisco or leaf lard if you prefer. The water should be ice cold. Throw in a big pinch of salt and a little sugar. Prebake.
• Yes, you have to cook the pumpkin instead of using canned. You’re not a bad human being for using canned, but it just won’t taste as good. Get a pie pumpkin half the size of your head and roast it for about an hour at 350F. Cool slightly, get rid of the seedy pulp, and use the meat.
• Use this recipe.

1 1/2 to 2 cups cooked and cooled pumpkin (more or less depending on how firm and pumpkiny you want your pie), or a large can of canned pumpkin (sigh)

2 eggs

1 1/2 cups half and half

1/4 cup (packed) brown sugar, light or dark, your choice, but I use light

1/2 cup regular white sugar

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1/2 teaspooon ground ginger

1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg

1/4 teaspoon ground allspice

Preheat your oven to 400F.

Blend the pumpkin in a food processor or blender. If your machine can hold everything, put in a cup of the half-and-half and everything else and blend until smooth, then add the rest of the half-and-half. If you don’t, or if you have canned pumpkin, just beat everything together in a bowl. Pour into your prebaked pie crust and cook for 15 minutes (it’s probably a good idea to put pie strips or foil over the pie crust edge, by the way). Turn your oven down to 350F and bake for 25-35 minutes, until the center of the pie is just barely still jiggly. Take it out and cool it well away from little helpers:

Okay, it was toast and Grape Nuts, but there was no sarcasm or eye-rolling involved. Best Father’s Day present ever.